October for me means chaos, but this october will be like no other. Not only do I now have Em, who will be 1yr old in october, but I will also be preparing for our move over to the U.K. So I´m taking full advantage of my quiet time this summer, taking Em out for walks and play dates and managing to even... wait for it... make a couple of dresses for her! yes I´m finally finding a few more minutes to put needle to thread. They are still a little big so they should be perfect come Autumn. Doesn´t she make a great model?

We wear short shorts!
I made the top while I was pregnant, knowing full well it would be hot this summer, and while Em slept the other night I got round to making matching shorts. She was adorable, and I was jealous that she could get away with such revealing clothes.

So what did I think having a baby would be like? Well... getting crafty and making so many adorable things for my bundle of joy to look adorable in while I quickly eased back into my old clothes and looked fabulous alongside my adorable baby.

Has it panned out like this?

Well my baby IS adorable and her wardrobe is enviable, however, I am not the creator of its entirety. It's trickier to find the time than I had expected. I am using bibs I made before I ever even knew Emilia would enter my life! My scrap book of ideas is brimming. I'm just waiting for that crafting blog daydream of creativity with my child wearing beautiful handmade one offs making people sick with envy. But Em is only 9 months so there is time yet.

Another thing that wasn't what I had expected was breast feeding. I never questioned that it's what I would do but I never thought that I would go on for as long as I have, some people even call it extended breast feeding, it doesn't feel extended at all, nothing about feeding Em to 9 months and hopefully more feels extended, knowing Em though it will be extended, she loves the boob. I've heard comments such as 'well once they can speak' or 'walk' or 'have teeth'. I may myself have even said the same once, I now stand corrected and hang my head in shame. Until your feeding your child and become aware of how safe they feel there, until you see that milky drunk smile look up at you, you can't judge anyone any more on their breast feeding journey.

I recently took part in an article for the Irish examiner, the article was about body image after birth and accepting your 'mummy tummy', I didn't even know it had a name until I read the article. Naturally I shared the article to friends and family and more than anything people commented on how beautiful the photograph was. Pedro took quite a few photos at the bequest of the journalist and her editor and the one chosen was by far the best. It was the most natural photo, Emilia and I had been feeding in bed and there was just so much happiness between us, it was a truly lovely moment, so I called out to pedro to bring the camera and capture it. And that's the one they chose. Had I stopped Breast feeding Emilia earlier in her life this moment and photograph would never have happened.

So has becoming a mother been what I expected it to be?

Absolutely not, it's better and totally unexpected.

Discovered on DaWandafrom DeeAgnewBaby/toddler tote bag

So I finally have some things ready to sell over on my dawanda shop! Like this kids tote bag, you'r never too young after all. Please pay me a visit and like what you see.

So I´ve been away for a while making the best thing that I have ever made, it took some time and for anyone who is interested here is my babies birth story. Writing your birth story and putting it up on the net seems to be the trend and during my pregnancy I loved to read about women´s experiences giving birth, I knew that I wanted to record mine to paper and hoped that someone else might enjoy mine just as much as I have enjoyed reading others. I also like the idea of Emilia Grace one day reading it. I was always sure that I wanted a natural birth without the aid of drugs, it upset and annoyed me how many people raised eyebrows and gave doubtful looks and comments, believing more in my inability to do it without drugs and loved to say ´what if…´always focussing on the word pain and the things that can go wrong rather than believing in the ability that a woman´s body has and a woman´s tenacity. Peopled seemed to love focussing on the negative but I knew that I would show these people that I had what it takes. The one thing I learnt during my pregnancy is just how amazing a woman´s body is and to have confidence in it. I felt quite alone in it all at first, I live in Spain where the rate of medical intervention is high and the idea of giving birth without epidural seems almost un-natural but my cousin Jaqueline just 2 weeks behind me in pregnancy had joined a group on Facebook called Gentle birth and it caught my eye. Gentle birth and positive birth were both great sources for me, encouraging me in my belief that I had everything it took to have the birth I was planning and wanted. I spent the next months focussing and arguing down anyone that said different. I spent my pregnancy excited about the labor with odd moments of ´crikey how is this actually going to work?` It was a film that played in my head. I knew it was going to be an amazing experience and it was but also a long one!



I woke up at 3.45 am with a contraction. I was much calmer than I thought I would be, the braxton hicks which I had had a couple of days earlier had left me as giddy as a child the night before christmas. I looked over at Pedro who was sound asleep, something I had been quite jealous for the last 4 months or so, there was no need to wake him as I knew that it could be a while but I couldn´t go back to sleep so I got up and decided to clean the kitchen, that was done so I moved onto a book. I had been noting down my contractions, every 10 minutes. It had been 2 hours or so now and I decided to rest in bed, this woke Pedro up, surprisingly he was really calm too. We put on the gentle birth listening and it really helped me fall into my contractions. Dare I say that they were a joy to have and I welcomed each one, excited that I was getting closer to finally meeting my baby. At 8 or 9 I phoned my Doula, Viki, to let her know that today was the day, I was amazed at how quickly the time had passed but still my contractions were 10 minutes apart, I knew it was going to be a long waiting game so insisted that Viki didnt come over yet. To distract ourselves we went shopping in placa catalunya, headed back home and made Brownies, I had the sudden compulsion to eat beans on toast, being an ExPat Ive always got a tin so I was able to satisfy my craving, we then watched a movie, halfway through I was growing really impatient now, starting to feel as though she would never come. I knew that my mums labor with me was a long one, 23hrs, I wanted to compare so we skyped, its funny to discuss your birth while your a matter of hrs away from giving birth. My doula phoned every now and then but I insisted that she spend the day with her family until I was ready to go to the hospital, I was secretly hoping to wait so long that I´d end up having to deliver at home, It was so nice to be at home alone with Pedro, waiting. As the surges finally started to pick up on pace and strength we put on the gentle birth listening once again, dimmed the lighting, lit some candles and circled on my ball. This was my favorite part of the labor, quite, calm and relaxed at home alone with pedro, holding my hand during contractions. But please take note people for the next time do not text or watsap!! It is distracting and takes away from a very special moment, discussing flight details is not the right moment and it really pissed me off. The surges were really picking up on speed and intensity now at around 11pm so I thought that it was a good time to phone the Doula. she came round and eased into the calm and silence around us but there was no hanging around, it was time to go to the hospital.
I wanted very much a home birth but did not have the €2000 it costs in Spain to do so.
I did not like the trip to the hospital, neither the midwife on arrival nor the lights or the midwifes examination of me. I argued with her as I didn´t want oxytocin (the hospitals policy) we agreed that if I hadn´t delivered the placenta after 20 minutes I would accept the oxytocin. It really doesn´t help labor along when you have to argue for what you want. My waters broke just as she was checking my dilation, only 2cm!! I couldn´t believe it but we were transferred to the delivery room where calm descended once again and a new young modern midwife, Carla, was there to help me through. It was 6 hrs of intense contractions and no dilating but it went so quickly. Viki was there rubbing my back which was so welcome, putting warm socks on my feet, giving me water, kisses and words of support. Pedro was falling into my contractions with me, holding my hand and following me as I walked around and circled my ball. After 24hrs or so I became so emotional and exhausted, I started to cry from tiredness. I had never been so exhausted in all my life, I wanted nothing more than to take a well earned sleep and get back to it later and I still wasn´t dilating, people started to wonder if I could continue, I noticed concerned looks between them but I never lost the belief in my body or my baby, speaking to her, encouraging her, then I was 8 cm! And the pushing quickly followed. It´s amazing how this next phase is so different. The intense feeling of the contractions is completely lifted and a dropping feeling comes in, you can feel yourself opening up.
I had complete trust in my body and baby, she was on her way. The pushing lasted longer than I had imagined it would, maybe too much tv or it just takes a while for me but at 6.40 am I gave the biggest effort I have ever made and let out a big roar, not through pain, there wasn’t any, through sheer strength and it paid off, she was there, We were one more in the room, the single most amazing thing I have ever seen. Words can not describe how it is to see your child for the first time. I said ´what the fuck´, I was blown away. When I try to describe it I can´t. The words really don´t exist. She was placed directly onto me and her warm slippery body against mine felt wonderful. Again, there really are no words sufficient enough to describe how she felt on me. I looked up to Pedro and said `I want more´. After 27 hrs I knew that I could do it all again. I then delivered the placenta, no oxytocin required. After a couple of minutes she wriggled over to my breast and ate, where she has pretty much stayed ever since. That following day was a wonderful dream. Going up to the ward everything was so calm and peaceful. The sleep that I had so been longing for stayed away, I couldnt stop looking at this amazing baby. She was wonderful. Pedro went home but came back half an hour later unable to stay away. The hospital let Emilia Grace and myself go home after 8 hrs, we were both fine. We skyped with family and friends came round to meet Em. I wont forget the silence among them as I brought her in. We drank tea and ate the brownies I had made the day before with my new family and friends.

Bob had to leave Barcelona to live with Pedro´s sister, Cristina, almost two years ago. Since then he misses Frank a lot, Frank was his first and only toy friend at the begining of his life. Today Bob is back visiting, and they are having a great time together. ¡Viva la amistad!

I made this bouquet for the wedding of my lovely friends Rafa and Jen. It complimented her dress like a dream and the day was the rockinest of all. Congratulations Jen and Rafa!

Yesterday and all day today until 8 p.m I´m in +Bernat bookshop (Barcelona), selling my things in a Christmas market. You can come, have a cup of tea with me an see all the stock on my litte table and under it. Love!

You´ll be in for a surprise. I´ve been making plenty of bunting, mini bunting and little houses ready for next weekends market. Details coming up shortly...

That´s what little boys are made of.